Okay, sorry for the cheesy title it just came out. Things are starting to get better. I'm having lunch and breakfast and dinner and following my meal plan almost completely. This weekend I head back to school and I'm trying to plan ahead for support down there. I know that I can see my therapist at school 15 times a year. I really like her but if I start to relapse or slip I think I may need to see someone more often than that so I have started doing research on therapists in the area. I really want to find the right therapist. I have had soooo many in the past 6 to 7 years and I have only liked my current therapist. I know that it is important to find the right person. I have been researching and sending out emails. I really want to do this right. I want to have backup if things go badly. I know that it will be really stressful. I'm only taking 4 classes, as of now, but I'm working and I have an independent study project I'm doing with my psychology adviser. I am also getting involved with more clubs and organizations. I really want to make the most of this experience because it only happens once. Life is crazy at school and I want to have someone I can go to if I need to. I know I have friends who are here to support me but I've had some really bad experiences with friends at college in the past so I really want to have a therapist I can go to. Now I just have to talk with the parents so I can get permission to see someone.
I really want to have a good year and I'm really scared that ED will mess this up. I had a really bad semester in the spring after a bad semester in the fall. Last year I had two sets of friends dump me and I now I'm scared to make friends because I don't want them to do the same. I spent weeks depressed because I had no one to talk to make friends. The friends I have now are going abroad in the spring. I guess I will stick to my groups. There are some great people there but one of the friends who is no longer a friend is in one of my favorite clubs. I am not going to let her keep me from it though. I am going to get through this. I will have a good year and I will enjoy it. I am not going to let last year stop me from having fun and meeting new people. I'm going to do this. I am going to do the best that I can.
"The key to change ... is to let go of fear." -Rosanne Cash
"There are two mistakes along the road to truth ... not going all the way, and not starting." -Buddha
I really want to have a good year and I'm really scared that ED will mess this up. I had a really bad semester in the spring after a bad semester in the fall. Last year I had two sets of friends dump me and I now I'm scared to make friends because I don't want them to do the same. I spent weeks depressed because I had no one to talk to make friends. The friends I have now are going abroad in the spring. I guess I will stick to my groups. There are some great people there but one of the friends who is no longer a friend is in one of my favorite clubs. I am not going to let her keep me from it though. I am going to get through this. I will have a good year and I will enjoy it. I am not going to let last year stop me from having fun and meeting new people. I'm going to do this. I am going to do the best that I can.
"The key to change ... is to let go of fear." -Rosanne Cash
"There are two mistakes along the road to truth ... not going all the way, and not starting." -Buddha
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