So looking back on the past week or so I realize that I've been depressed lately. I guess I still am but now that I recognize it I can work on turning on the light. I know that I have been struggling with ED and I've had a few instances of self-harm. I need to find ways to deal with these things. I need to work on dealing with my emotions and identifying them. I don't really understand how this happened. I thought that I was doing really well but I guess that I let my guard down and ED and self-harm saw the opportunity to come back into my life. Maybe it's just because I'm home around my family in which case I hope it all gets better when I go back. However I cannot expect a change in location and environment to change everything. I have to work on this. I cannot be blind-sided by my depression again. My plan: 1) start journalling/blogging, 2) talk to friends/family, 3) take time for myself, 4) relax, yoga, meditate. I will do better. I want to work on it. I want to be better. Most of the time. I am really fighting myself on this but I know that it's not myself that I'm fighting but my disorder/disease and I just have to keep reminding myself that that part that says it's me is not. I can do this and I will.
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