Pains and Anxieties

Two trips to the ER in one week. Chest and abdominal pain for one and lethargy for two. The second trip resulted from anxiety and emotional turmoil. I'm not sure what caused the anxiety. Life has been crazy. With everything going on ED has been really active and trying to get me back. Hopelessness and fear have returned and I don't know how I am going to deal with all of this. My family is not being all that supportive. I guess it makes sense because of the stress at home but when I'm with my boyfriend things are great and I was with him when it happened. Although when I am with him I let myself feel my emotions and my walls come down so that could be why it happened. Everything just seems so complicated and crazy. I wish it would all go away and my body would be okay. I'm really scared and just want to be okay. My self-harm is also trying to come back but I know why this time. I know it's because of the stress of my medical/emotional state. I know it's because I'm home with my family and stressed out. So now I have to figure out how to deal with all of this.

Well a good first step would be to stop questioning the diagnosis for the chest/abdominal pain because that will only make me go crazier. Then I need to work on how to relax and practice some deep breathing. Now that I have my stitches out I can start doing some light exercising and basic yoga which should help a lot. Then I need to work on recognizing my emotions and dealing with them in the moment so they do not build up and manifest in physical ways. When I go back to school I need to start seeing a therapist again. It is good that I am not overloading myself at school. Life will get better. I have to believe that.