Recommitting myself to recovery

Okay. I haven't been doing well lately as I have written in past posts but tonight I really got hit with why I want to recover so badly. Yes it is hard and my motivation wavers and I will accept that that is part of the process. I am sick of being sick. I am sick of feeling disconnected and alone. I am sick of pushing the people I love most and care about most away. I want to have energy. I want to feel alive. I want to simply  feel. I know that feeling emotions is hard when I am home and that I often close down so that I don't have to feel but there are people I can be open and honest with and I want to do so. I am making a commitment to follow my meal plan exactly tomorrow. No cutting things out. I want to be healthy.