· - I am seeing myself through the filter of my ED
and not as I am in reality
·
People say I am kind and nice
· - My ED makes me selfish and focus on myself and
getting what I want
·
I was in the 15 of my class in high school and I
got into MHC and maintain above a 3.0 GPA. If I was stupid I would not be able
to do so.
· - The only person who is judging me is me.
· - There are things I am grateful to be able to do
with my body.
· -I may not be able to love myself but there are
many who love me.
· -Every human being deserves a chance to be happy,
healthy and have a life. I am not less worthy than others.
· -No one deserves to be hurt or in pain, including
me.
· -I need food to live. It nourishes my body and
helps me think and function.
· -Fats are what my brain is made of and functions
on. It is how I am able to do my school work.
· -I do my best to be kind and compassionate.
· -I am a bit creative.
· -I have really close friends.
· -I am human and therefore have worth.
· -I know I am loved.
· -I have been in recovery before and can do it
again.
· -I hate myself now but I can learn to love
myself.
· -Dan, Kari, Alexa, Sam, Stephanie, and others
love and care about me.
· -I go to a difficult school and am making good
grades. While I work hard, I also have to be relatively intelligent to do so.
My team at Klarman have reviewed my growth charts to determine my range. They
closely moniter my weight and would not make me fat. Obviously Dan finds me,
not only not ugly, but also pretty and beautiful or he wouldn’t be with me.
· -I do my best and that is all I can do. At times
I may feel like I fall short but I can always try harder next time.
· -Academically I have not failed anything for as
long as I can remember. In life the only time I can fail is when I do not learn
from my mistakes and/or if I stay down and don’t get back up when I fall, or if
I give up.
· -I may not care about myself but others do. Also,
just because it feels like no one cares does not mean it’s true.
· -I need for to live and function. It is okay to
eat. Eating nourishes my body and allows me to do things. My body need and can
handle differing amounts of food.
· -Food is good and allows me to function and be
me. There are even foods I like and enjoy eating.
· -I am uncomfortable in my body because I am in my
range and I haven’t been at a healthy weight for a while.
· - My thighs touch, yes, but that is okay. It is
normal and healthy for some people’s thighs to touch. I am at a healthy weight.
When my thighs did not touch I was very sick and unhealthy.
· - I am at a healthy weight. If I lose weight I may
easily slide back into behaviors use, become unhealthy and risk damaging my
body even more.
· - I feel like my body is too big but again I am at
a healthy weight. Yes it is uncomfortable but I can sit with these feelings and
thoughts and not engage in behaviors. I will one day learn to be okay with
myself and my body.
· - I am following my meal plan and on a maintenance
meal plan. My body needs food and if left to my ED I would not eat anything and
still feel like I am eating too much.
· - I have been in recovery before and I can do it
again. This time I will have more coping skills and knowledge on my side.
· - I am at a healthy weight now. My old body was
sickly, unhealthy and unattractive.
· - My stomach is not flat but it is not flabby. It
is just covered with skin.
· - 80lbs is WAY, WAY, WAY too little to weight for
someone of my age and height.
· - People say I was too skinny at my lowest weight
and that I needed help.
· - I am in my range and need to stay there.
· - I deserve recovery. Everyone deserves recovery.
I am human and therefore not a piece of shit. I am in my range and therefore
not fat. People find me beautiful.
· - Because I am in my range I am not comfortable in
my body. I hope one day to be comfortable in my body.
· - People do not find excessively skinny/boney
people attractive. Looking sickly and ill is not only unhealthy but also
off-putting. Dan finds me attractive now and found me attractive at a higher
weight.
· - I will not stop losing at a few pounds. I will
spiral out of control and it will always be ‘just a few pounds.’
· - I am in the low to mid section of my range which
is where my body wants to be and where I am healthy.
· - It is more than the food. Therapy and journaling
are good places to explore this. I have a strong sense of will and I am
stubborn. These traits can be used to my advantage or disadvantage. I choose
the former.
· - Not listening to my ED and staying on my meal
plan shows more strength, willpower, and courage than any other action.
