Meal Plan

It has not been easy but I am working my way back up to my meal plan. I am reincorporating the greatly feared "fats." My nutritionist gave me good advice when she said "let's not think of it in terms of 'you need x number of fats, but rather think of it as 'oh I need x amount of peanut butter/nutella/avocado...." This has been really helpful. The term "fats" is just such a scary word for me right now. The ingrained ED logic that fats will make me fat is still very prominent so instead I know I need to have a piece of cheese on my veggie burger or avocado in my salad. This is much easier to do. ED is a very tricky bastard but as all of us know, he is not the brightest and thus he can be tricked as well. Just because something is labeled at a fat or a carb, does not mean that you have to call it that. Giving something a new name or calling it something else takes away the word association that ED has created, thus making the thing less scary. I do not know why I did not think of this years ago because it is brilliant. I can be the trickster to ED. I recognize that tricking ED in the long run is not going to solve my problems but it will help me get back to my meal plan right now and as I recover the ever scary hunger signals and become used to and comfortable in my body I can return to the language. That said I'd like to know what genius (please not the sarcasm) decided that the term we use to call oils and things like that would be the same term we use to refer to people we see as overweight.

Th other thing that I have noticed that is really confusing me is when restricting I often include protein as a restricted item and I do not know why. I am sure there is something significant about that but I do not know what. It is not a "fear food" or anything that engenders anxiety yet protein does get cut out. This is something I might explore with my therapist or nutritionist so see why I might be doing it. Regardless I am going to get back on my meal plan and kick ED to the curb!!!